The Truth about Comparison

The truth about comparison is that it is girded by the lie that "God is holding out on me".

I feel transition in the air.  The presidential election is approaching. We held a retirement celebration for my boss a few days ago. Friends are making firm career decisions.

And for the first time in a long time, I feel as though I'm just here... floating along.  Nothing new or exciting has captured me.  I haven't embarked on a new adventure or tackled a new problem. Same 'ole, same 'ole  And with every note of new news from a friend or colleague, I'm tempted to compare.  Maybe if I had followed that academic track, joined that sorority, invested in that business, moved to that city, then maybe... just maybe... I would be experiencing the same upgrades, promotions, and advancements as that friend, sibling, or co-worker.

Why would a Good Father withhold good things from me?  The truth is He wouldn't. He doesn't.

Psalm 84:11 (AMP) reads, "For the Lord God is a sun and shield; The Lord bestows grace and favor and honor; No good thing will he withhold from those who walk uprightly." 

Jesus said that if we took hold of the Word, then it would set us free.  I don't want to be hooked by this creepy crawler called comparison.  By faith, I will accept the truth that he will not withhold good things from me as I pursue him.

Unfortunately, I remain so invested in my career and my independence.  A few months ago, the Lord asked me to let the weight of performance, achievement, and expectation fall away.  My mind tells me that if I haven't received the same upgrades as everyone else then I haven't performed well enough to achieve upgrades aligned with my (self-motivated) expectations.  And don't even get me started on where my mind goes when contemplating the expectations that family and friends have for me.

So what now? God whispered that I am exactly where he wants me to be... floating along. In this place without knowledge of where to go next, I have no choice but to encounter God.  I sat in church last week and cried my eyes out singing "Good Good Father".  He wants me to sit here and learn more about his upright nature and kind intentions.

The promotions and advancements I'm due for in this season are not earthly.  I can't even make it through a work day without feeling several tugs from God.  He's shifting my perspective on relationships, money, purpose, and most importantly what it means to be loved by Him.  I'm receiving an upgraded mindset, one large enough to contain and wisely steward the joy, energy, health, and love he intends to pour out.  That's certainly not consistent with a stingy God.  He is a Good Good Father.

A Prayer for Today

"Good Good Father"

Rebellion

If you ask me to picture a rebel, my imagination will immediately conjure up an image of a leather-clad biker chick who drinks and smokes without abandon.  This "rebel" doesn't care about the rules and will never obey the law.  This rebel cruises through the city on a motorcycle, tagging walls with her signature.  Rebellion - a disrespect for authority - is her fortay. 

I'd never picture myself as one.

That was until I had an encounter with the Lord during my recent fast. 

I sat at my kitchen table, ready to begin focused meditation.  I started to pray and felt compelled to ask for forgiveness.  Typically, my requests for forgiveness go something like this - "Lord, I am sorry for gossiping at work.  But you know those people are just... ughhhh... just ridiculous.  But you know, I'm sorry because it's not nice." 

Well this time, the Holy Spirit led me to an authentic request for cleanliness.  I cried, "Lord, I'm sorry for wanting my way all the time.  I live my life with my purposes as the lead, rarely clinging to your truth or your Word as a guide.  I do what I want to do, when I want to do it.  I consider your will and your way only as an after-thought.  I am sorry for glorifying myself through my living.  I want to glorify you.  Forgive me for my rebellion."

See you have to understand that by all accounts I was (and still am) a "good" girl.  I didn't give my parents too much trouble - in terms of sneaking out and such.  I always took care of my responsibilities.  And even today, I don't ask for help much because I've got it under control. (Note: I actually don't have it under control.)  My parents allowed me to be free to learn, grown, and explore.  My life experiences allowed my independence to flourish; I went to boarding school at 14... hello!  I've created opportunities for myself. I issued myself a license to do my own thing and that feels a-ok to my flesh.

But God... hmph. But God relentlessly pursues me.  He pursues my heart and wants to lavish love on me.  How can he direct my steps and lead me as my Provider if I continue to follow my own way? I am sorry for my rebellion. 

By my confession, I believe I've started a spiritual process of activating new levels of faith in my life. And now God has room to surprise me with his good and perfect gifts.  I can't wait to see what He has in store for my future.  It must be better than anything I could've come up with on my own.  

Insecurity

Captured from a Facebook Post by Kris Vallotton, leader at Bethel Church in Redding, CA. For more from Kris, check out his book The Supernatural Ways of Royalty.  Oh!  He also has a blog.