Moving Forward

Encounter: The Boyd Sisters

As promised, here's an encounter story.  I met these women virtually.  I don't know them personally but I FEEL them, if you know what I mean. I asked my Sisters to write about an intimate encounter they've had with the Lord that opened their eyes to something new about Him, his nature, his truth, his love.  I hope you FEEL their encounter and are able to reflect on your own story.  Happy Friday and Happy Reading!
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I remember the day like it was yesterday when I found out my only brother passed away. I can't lie, I was confused. I never wanted to question God and why He would let that happen because I knew God was in control. However, I was hurt and lost. All I could think about was there had to be more to life then this. My brother died and the world didn't stop even though my heart almost did. I left work early that day and guess what? The work was going to get done whether I was there or not. My little sister left school, but guess what? The teacher was going to keep teaching. Nothing in this world changed, nothing stopped, even though I felt like it should have. I held my pain in until I couldn’t hold it in anymore then it all came out at once. I asked God, “Why…why now he was only 30…is this all to life? Did he really live out his purpose for You? I don’t understand…is it wrong for me to feel this way?  I know this life is not about us but why does this hurt so badly?”

I was getting ready to travel home to Chicago for the wake and funeral. I cried a few times since I found out about my brother, but I had not mourned yet. I was going on with my life because I was not ready to deal with the pain. I wasn't ready because that meant I would have to talk to God about it and I wasn’t ready. The day of the wake I was scared because that meant this was the day it would become real to me. I was not ready for that either. On the day of the wake, I just couldn’t look at my brother. My dad had to walk me up to the casket and told me to look at him. He said, "Baby, you need to mourn now so tomorrow you can be strong for others." I was already crying, but when I finally look at my brother it was like my knees were not holding me up anymore. It was my father. I was confused, hurt, and I just didn't understand. All those angry questions came back to me at that moment. He was only 30! Why now? Did he live out his purpose? Was this the life God wanted for him? All these questions were running through my mind, but I forgot what was important. Shortly after crying in my father's arms, he said, "Baby, remember God keeps His promises." Right then, at that very moment, a peace came over me.

My heartbeat slowed down, my tears of sorrow became tears of joy, and I started to smile. All I could think about was that I serve a faithful God and He does keep His promises. I knew that my brother was living a better life right now and I would see him again one day. That's a joy that no one could ever take from me.

A few months later, I was visiting my friend's church.  It was the moment in the service where people could go to the altar and give their sorrows and pain to God. I was sitting in my seat praying for my love ones around me. All of a sudden, I heard this lady cry out, "Lord I can't do it. They took my son, I can’t do it anymore." An instant emotion came over me and I immediately started to cry. As I sat in my seat, I began to pray for the lady. It made me think about my brother and how I felt the same hurt she was experiencing. The Holy Sprit spoke to me, he told me to share that peace he gave me at my brother wake with this lady (2 Corn 1:3-4). He told me to get up go to the altar and share it with her. I can’t lie I was scared. How would this lady act when a person she never met came to her in a time a pain? I prayed for the courage to go up there, and the Holy Sprit provided that for me. I went to the altar where she was crying and told her exactly what my dad told me. The Lord keeps His promises. She grabbed my hand tight and her prayer changed from "I can't do this anymore" to "God get me through this day." All you could see was the same peace God gave me, He gave her. She slowly began to calm herself. At that very moment, on that very day, I knew that my struggle and pain was for the glory of God. The peace I received was just not for me, but also for this lady that I never met.

The lady may have perceived me as a blessing to her, but most of all she was a blessing to me. That experience showed me the power of obedience. When we are obedient to God, this is how we can bless others. Most of all, it showed me that my struggle was not about me. The trials and tribulations we go through are not about us, but for the glory of God. God puts us through thing even when we are not ready for them so we can remember to depend on Him and only Him.  It is proof that Christ is so amazing and crazy faithful always and forever.

The Boyd Sisters

http://theboydsisters.blogspot.com/

Why I Write

Writing helps me to confront my emotions and thoughts.  I can then move on to rejecting lies, accepting truth, and healing.

Writing helps to reveal the real me.  It's easy to stay hidden in the shadows.  I used to be afraid of my words and thoughts.  I feared that they would enable others to dismiss me.  Well, I am not so afraid anymore.

I write because I can use my words to build up and encourage.  That's one of my gifts.

I write because a mentor told me that my experiences would help another young woman one day.  I am not sure if I will meet this young woman face to face or if she'll be an unknown reader... but here, my dear, this is for you. 

I pray you peace as you navigate young adulthood.  I pray that you will find your voice, and let your innerman guide you.  I pray that you will find good friends and caring mentors.  I pray that you will embrace the love of the Father.  I pray you unspeakable joy.  And I pray that you will know triumph in all that the Father ordains you to do.

Come Away With Me

"Of the love we share,
     no one compares to you.
I'll never let you go,
     cuz I really love you so..."

Those are lyrics from Faith Evans' "Never Gonna Let You Go".  The song began playing in my head this morning.  That's the second of two love songs God has highlighted to me in recent days.

The Lord whispered something to me last week.   He told me that it wasn't my time.  Nine months into my year off from dating and I was hoping to hear that someone special was on the way.  Instead, he told me it wasn't my time.

And I grew sad.  Does this mean that there's something wrong with me?  It must be true then that I am not the kind of girl that guys date huh?  How long am I going to have to wait?  What am I going to say to friends and relatives who keep asking me... when, when, when?  How am I going to convince folks that I am not a lesbian? Why isn't it my time Lord?

And then I saw an image.  I was naked.  Completely.  One arm swung low; the other arm crossed my torso and was latched to the free-swinging one.  I was biting my lip.  (Nervous, probably, because I was NAKED in front of the Father.)  And then I heard Him say, "I like your form."  Exhale.

In the book "Moral Revolution", the author shares that he has two beautiful, intelligent daughters.  One daughter always received male attention.  The phone would ring off the hook for her and she went out on many dates.  The other daugther never received the same attention.  She asked  her dad why she wasn't being asked out.  Whenever he could, the author would take his daughter out on a "date" to stave the worry and potential loneliness that would overcome her.  The author then highlighted something that may be applicable to me; he wrote that some people are hidden, secured for the match for them.

It's not my time.

I'd rather be hidden and secure with the Father than navigating the (sometimes brutal) wilderness that accompanies God-less pursuit and romance.

Two months ago, I saw an image.  (I get these a lot if you haven't noticed lol.)  I was in a bubble, kind of like a womb, walking and talking with God.  The enemy snatched me out of the bubble.  I was cold and began crying.  Some time later, the enemy returned, and as I lay on the ground in a fetal position, he kicked me in the stomach!  I wept some more.  God then cradled me into his arms and placed me back in the bubble.  I could not stop staring at the scene though, the scene where the enemy had attacked me.  God picked the bubble up and turned it 90 degrees so that the view was different.  (Whew this imagery is bringing me to tears.   This is deep.  I'm sure I'll be pulling truth out of this for months to come.  I'll stop here for now.)

It's not my time.

Well, this daughter will be going on lots of dates with her Papa.  I'll be pressing into him for truth and insight.  I love his wisdom.  I love how deep is.  I love how good He is to me.  I love his redemptive nature.  I love his delight in me.  I love that he loves me!  I love Him!  And we'll dance, and laugh, and sing, and cry, and wax poetic.  My joy is his joy.  He loves when I trust him and confide in him.  He loves to surprise me.  He loves to teach me his ways.  It's our time.  Forever and ever.

Oh and, "Come Away With Me" by Norah Jones was the very first love song he brought to me. 

"Come away with me in the night
Come away with me
And I will write you a song

Come away with me on a bus
Come away where they can't tempt us
With their lies

I want to walk with you
On a cloudy day
In fields where the yellow grass grows knee-high
So won't you try to come

Come away with me and we'll kiss
On a mountaintop
Come away with me
And I'll never stop loving you

And I want to wake up with the rain
Falling on a tin roof
While I'm safe there in your arms
So all I ask is for you
To come away with me in the night
Come away with me"

Puppy Love