Numb

I experienced several health challenges over the summer, including a rash that prevented deep sleep. I sought cures from Western, Eastern, and West-African practitioners. (And those West-African practitioners are my in-laws lol!)

Midway through my acupuncture treatment, I noticed I could "feel" more on my skin. My nerve endings were awake. It was then I realized they must have been previously dulled.

The realization provoked me to examine other dull places in my life. I landed on relationships, and the following theme emerged. 

I grow numb after my boundaries are consistently violated.

I can continue to play a role in the relationship afterwards but I am NUMB. Shut.down.

Personal maturity requires that I boldly communicate my boundaries, the violations, and my expectations for next steps if the relationship continues. Personal maturity also requires that I LISTEN, actively, intently, to the other person to uncover their underlying values and motivations.

And then I can make a choice... to walk away from an inauthentic relationship, to remain numb in the hopes of trying re-engagement again, or to delve deeper into relational fulfillment that benefits both parties.

Investment

You don't have to be in relationship with something for very long before realizing there are different measures and expectations of investment. 

My nation, the U.S., defines investment as a monetary infusion into a sector. In my marriage, quality time is a prized investment. My houseplant - which recently met its demise - required water, light, plant food, and encouraging words.

Likewise, my investments into my relationship with God take on many forms. During the world's current tumult, I sense Him asking for an investment of active listening. 

The Lord's always sharing something with us. In response, we interpret based on our past experience or knowledge. And today, he wants to share something fresh. When we are experiencing something new - a hardship or joy -, or perceiving something "strange", we have permission to ask why. We can seek out God's motivations to deepen both our understanding of and relationship with Him.