Excerpt from an original essay entitled "Go Fly A Kite"
Daddy, I hurt. I was lying down on my living room floor with
my eyes closed and arms straight up in the air.
In my mind, I was sitting in God’s lap.
We were chest to chest so that our hearts were near each other. I imagined hearing his heart beat in sync
with mine. I began to whisper in his
ear. I told him that I was disappointed
that my parents divorced. I revealed my
fear that I would never get married. It
seemed that no Christian man would ever take the time to get to know me, want
to have fun (rollercoasters and mini-golf), and initiate righteousness in a
relationship. Sigh. I told him that I had no idea what my next
career move would be or how I would ever finish paying back my student
loans. I told him that I wanted to live
free and be whole. I told him that I
loved him with my whole heart and that I would never stop chasing him.
He told me that I was his. And
that his thoughts towards me were those of peace, love, and prosperity. I learned that I was a woman of joy and that
my gifts included teaching and healing. He
told me that I was not lost in the crowd but that he has had his eye on me
since I was in the womb. I actually
caught a glimpse of him looking down at me when I was a little girl with big
hair puffs. He told me that when I was
lonely, there was a place for me in heaven to come and play.
Since then, I have imagined walking down the beach with Jesus, enjoying
a swing in a park with God, and sitting atop the Great Sphinx of Giza with
Jesus in a beach chair beside me. My
imagination led me right into fellowship with God. (And let me tell you this, the more I use it for
intimacy with the Father, the less room there is to entertain past regrets and
sexual fantasy.)
