Parenting

I watched a one woman show yesterday entitled "One Drop of Love".  The mixed-race creator and performer, Fanshen Cox DiGiovanni, allows us to travel with her through her family history.  It's a beautiful story of reconciliation.

The show opens with a telling of how she met her husband, Diego.  She marries Diego in Jamaica, the birthplace of her father, but guess what?  Her dad does not come to her wedding.  After confronting her dad, she learns that he was not upset that she was marrying a European as she had assumed, but rather he did not want to return to Jamaica because of the poverty he experienced growing up.

Now, before confronting her dad about the wedding, her grandmother encourages her to ask her dad about his own father.  When she does, she learns that her grandfather was an alcoholic who would beat her grandmother.  Grandma leaves grandpa, and her dad is left to fill his own father-less void.  She learns that her dad does see his father every once a while, as he drives a bus in a nearby part of town, but that's the extent of their relationship - bus conversations and a little exchange of money.

Fanshen remarks, "Parents are only able to pour out the measure of love given to them plus just a little bit more."

Aha!

I am not a parent.  Ok, I am not a parent to a human child - after all Pepper is my baby - but I can imagine that when a child is born, an involved parent determines to shelter that child with an insurmountable amount of love, protection, and provision.  But somewhere along the line, every parent falls short, and not necessarily for lack of trying.  Each parent is only able to model the love that he received himself.

That's why we need the Father's love!

Yes, revelation and reception of God's love will enable any parent to fill up her love void and equip her to pour out more to her own children, and at the same time allow her children to be filled up in the areas that she's lacking.  Yes!

The ultimate, perfect, all-consuming love from Daddy God hits the spot!

Piece of advice from Mama Lise -
Before confronting your parents with "you should have done this and been there and said that", examine your heart voids and invite the Father to fill those places.  Then seek reconciliation - not humiliation - with your parents.  Embrace them as the human beings with hearts in need of as much as healing as yours, and invite them to enter God's love chamber.  

  

It's All Good

Romans 8:28 - And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

Just picture it.  A girl, with dog in hand, stands on the curb as a man practices parallel parking - over and over and over again.  Every time Sean maneuvered the car into the space, I exclaimed "You did a good job!  Try _________ next time."  I said that every single time.

After a while, Sean says, "I am not listening to you anymore.  You always say good job."

That I do!  I just can't help it!  I saw him earnestly trying and my initial response, every time, was good job.

This morning I thought about God's promise to work everything out for "good".  No matter the circumstance, God says "good".  

Where there's pain, God says GOOD - I will show my glory.
Where there's confusion, God says GOOD - Fix your eyes on me, and I will lend you clarity.
Where there's a bruised heart, God says GOOD - Allow me to enter as the lover of your soul.
Where there's loss, God says GOOD - I will be your source of provision.

I am taking the time to examine my present circumstances.  My job tenure ends in 3 weeks.  EEK!

God says GOOD - Elise, allow me to employ you with my heart's desires and dreams.  Your next steps are guided by my hand.  Do not be afraid or discouraged.  I am with you always and forever more.  This is working together for  GOOD.   

Gifting and Character

Brea and family friend Aunt Leanna stayed up all night baking cupcakes for the election.  Brea, my sister who is currently enrolled in cosmetology school, was running for class president.  She was nervously excited.  She believed she had the support she needed to win.  

Alas, Brea lost the election by a couple votes.  She was certain she lost because a few of her friends were absent on voting day.

I could hear the disappointment in her voice.  Brea said that after she found out she lost, she sulked for the rest of the day.  She did not engage with her classmates and pretended not to care about the result. (As her sister I know this aspect of Brea all too well lol!)    I told my sister that it's possible she did not win because there is still some character development to be accomplished.  I said, "As a leader, you cannot disengage when something doesn't turn out the way you want it to."

Since then, I have been meditating on the concept of spiritual promotion and character development.  The Bible asks us to earnestly seek spiritual gifts.   Some of us do.  And when the gift does not come when or how we imagine, we determine that we're just not seeking hard enough.  The delay may not be due to a lack of earnest desire; in fact, we are more than likely right on target to receive the gift in the manner and time that God ordains.  But before God bestows the gift, he wants to ensure we have the character to utilize it for kingdom building. 

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The Lord told Jonah to travel to Nineveh and implore its citizens to repent.  We all know that Jonah tried to run away from the commission and ended up in the belly of a whale.   There's more to the story though.   After Jonah arrived in Nineveh and delivered God's wake up call, the people did exactly as God instructed them to do. They repented!  Jonah 4:10 reads, "When God saw what they did and how they turned from their evil ways, he had compassion and did not bring upon them the destruction he had threatened."

The people heeded Jonah's message from the Lord.  You would think the prophet would be pleased.  Instead Jonah caught an attitude.  The Bible says, "Jonah was greatly displeased and became angry."  Jonah says that he initially fled because he knew God was gracious and compassionate and would not bring the wrath he forewarned. 

In that last chapter of the book of Jonah I saw it.  I saw the misalignment of gifting and character.  A prophet whose character matched his level of gifting would have accepted the repentance of the Ninevites as a kingdom win.  He would have prostrated himself before the Lord, knowing he had been used by him to perform a great work.  He would have worshiped God, for he had shown himself to be exactly as "gracious and compassionate" as Jonah knew him to be.   

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I heard a quote recently - "Gifts can build a ministry quickly, but poor character can destroy it  just as fast."  I have viewed trials and missteps in my journey as roadblocks to where God wants to take me.  I am putting on a new perspective today.  My stumbles have been moments of character building.  He has developed resilience, patience, faithfulness, and humility in me.  (And believe me, the work is not done!)   As God has shaved off unsightly features, I am able to see more.  I have deeper prophetic insights.  I even praise God without realizing it lol.  Just yesterday I was singing around the house; my youngest sister remarked, "Do you have to sing about God all the time?"  Whoops!  Didn't know I did... and yes, yes I do!

Lord, bring the work you have started in me to completion.  I pray that my character will not hinder the fulfillment of your promises.  Continue to mold me, oh Potter, and purify me by your statutes. Thank you for showing me good character, as demonstrated by Jesus.  I love you and look forward to the day I will stand blameless before your throne.  In Jesus' name... Amen!

Refreshment for Today

Vinegar

I swigged a teaspoon-sized amount of apple cider vinegar.  I did it for no reason at all, other than at the request of my spirit.

Slander and gossip have come easily to me these past few weeks.  In difficulty - and frankly to fill up lulls in conversations - , I have belittled my boss, wagged my finger at my parents' actions, and shared confidential information.  Feeling stuck, frustrated, and justified, I have allowed my tongue to steer me into corruption (James 3: 1 - 12). 

The vinegar's bitterness consumed my sinuses and burned my chest.  I wished I had taken a shot of tequila instead.  Minutes after consumption, as mucus ran from my nose and my esophagus revived a normal sensation, I realized that my tongue's bitterness had consumed me.  I had refused to consider forgiveness, reconciliation, or thoughts of peace, love, and honor. 

Psalm 119:103 - "How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth."

What if I took the high road - the Lord's way - and allowed my words, like his, to be like honey. Proverbs 24:14 compares wisdom to the likeness of honey.  And according to apostle Bill Johnson (Bethel Church, Redding, CA), "wisdom recalibrates the value system of a culture".  I can exact culture change - peace, love, and prosperity - through the use of wisdom, in this case "honey-words" to people and situations that have previously caused me to be filled with fear, anxiety, anger, slander, and gossip.

The tough part, though, is getting started.  How do I recalibrate myself to respond to people and situations with honey?  If there's one thing I've learned in this walk, it's that I am not transformed in character by my will alone.  The Holy Spirit meets me in my willing heart and capitulates me to a greater expression of God and his glory.   

So here's the invitation - Lord, I dare to live according to your standards and attributes.  I want my words to be like honey, not vinegar.  Forgive me for my damning tongue and allow me to experience wisdom (like honey) according to your spirit.   I want to use my words to build up others, and cast down the ploys of the enemy for hatred, confusion, and bitterness.   Lord, have your way. 

His Presence

All I want for my birthday is...

It's the eve of my birthday.  This year, I don't want to "turn up" (and act out of character) or splurge on things I want, but don't need.  Here in the quiet of my home, in the peace of early evening, I only desire the presence of the Lord. 

Psalm 27:3 - One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to enquire in his temple.  


I have been reading up on men of the Bible lately.  The first man, Adam, had it all.  He had a wife, he had dominion over the things of the earth, and he lived in the presence of God.  After eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, Adam hid himself from the presence (Genesis 3:8).  Cain, his son, also knew presence-less existence.  Genesis 4:13-14 reads, "And Cain said unto the Lord, My punishment is greater than I can bear.  Behold, thou hast driven me out this day from the face of the earth and from thy face shall I be hid..."   Sin kept these men from living in the presence of God. 

Psalm 27:8-9 - When thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, Lord, will I seek.  Hide not thy face far from me; put not thy servant away in anger: thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation."

I am so thankful that God has positioned my heart to narrow in on the "one thing", the presence.  Because Jesus atoned for my sin, I am free to experience all of God's beauty, the fullness of His presence.  I want to do everything there now.  I want to sleep, sing, eat, work, and minister in the presence of God.  And as I experience the abundance of life there, everything else becomes really small.  Inconveniences don't unravel me (nearly as often as they used to).  I am kept by His presence.  

I am so glad that the presence isn't a one time only deal.  I wake up, feeling "some kind of way" and then I just ask Him to fill me up.  He never disappoints.  Never.  I sing, I cry, I laugh, I read, and say "Come Lord, dwell here."  And there He is - my beloved comes with healing, joy, peace, and love in... His presence.

Lord, Yes You May

My friend used Facebook to pass along a video clip and I actually watched it!

Iyanla Vanzant is sitting down for a chat with Oprah Winfrey for a special on "Super Soul Sunday".  In the video, Iyanla clears something up.   We all believe that surrender looks weak - a defeated spirit bent over in the fetal position saying "Lord, I give up."  Iyanla says that surrender actually looks like us, standing with arms outstretched, looking toward the heavens, saying "Here I am Lord."

 

And so, here I am, today.  I am halfway through a second read of Graham Cooke's "Approaching the Heart of Prophecy".  There's an exercise after the first section.  Graham asks readers to list the people in our lives who we have a hard time loving.  Readers are then asked to detail what makes each person hard to love, how we believe the person perceives us, and what steps we can and will take to show brotherly love.  As I began to detail the "grace growers" of my life I noticed a pattern.  Each person is hard to love because he or she has rejected me when I have been particularly vulnerable.  I respond by backing away, ceasing engagement with the individual.  In fact, I hide from the hard to love in my life.  I hide.

And it makes sense right?  I am hiding because I don't want to be rejected again.  I am hiding because I don't feel valuable to him or her.  I am hiding because that's easier to do than to exemplify godly, brotherly love.

I asked the Lord to help me.  Lord, help me to forgive those who have hurt me.  Fix me so that I can be a better Christian.  FIX ME. And then another day passes and I feel the same way about him or her.  Lord, you didn't fix me! 

And so, here I am, today.  Just this morning I was going back over the list, asking the Lord for healing and restoration in those relationships - whether that looks like forgiveness or actual friendship development.  I remembered something Graham Cooke wrote about prayer. 

 

"Prayer in its simplest form is finding out what God wants to do and then asking Him to do it.  When we don't listen before we pray, we end up presenting God with options instead if a request.  We'll pray whatever comes to mind instead of entering into communion with Him."

And I heard my spirit cry out, "Lord, yes you may."  I don't have any ideas about how to fix me or the relationships.  I don't have a formula for being a better forgiver.  I am exercising surrender, and saying "Lord, yes you may."  Lord you may take me to the depths of spiritual anguish or allow me to experience deliverance in an instant.  However you want this to go, "Lord, yes you may."

And so, here I am, today.  I am trusting God.  I am believing in his faithfulness.  I am preparing my heart to receive more of Him.  I am believing that He is good, and that everything is working together for my good.  He loves me.

Arise

Isaiah 60: 1-2 (Amplified) - Arise [from the depression and prostration in which circumstances have kept you—rise to a new life]! Shine (be radiant with the glory of the Lord), for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you!  2 For behold, darkness shall cover the earth, and dense darkness [all] peoples, but the Lord shall arise upon you [O Jerusalem], and His glory shall be seen on you.

 

I wrestled with determining my "one word" for this year.  In a still moment the Spirit whispered "arise".  I received some prophetic words before the close of last year.  I heard "be free" and "step out".  Alas, arise. 

I already sense a new direction in my heart - a direction in which I have to approach strangers, stand before them, and tell my story.  In turn, their hearts are renewed before the Father.

The more I meditate on Isaiah 60: 1-2, the less I feel that  arise is just for me.  These strangers, the ones I approach, will "rise to a new life" in the Father.  

There is a beckoning that befalls us during our walk with Christ.  He beckons us to lay down everything before him and live encroached by his grace, pursued by his favor, and engulfed in his love.  The new life is filled with peace, joy, and rest.  I count it an honor and privilege to serve the body by introducing others to renewed lives in Him.

Arise.

 

 

Mind Renewal