Envy

I experience prosperity as the outward lived experience of the changes, upgrades, learnings occurring inwardly as a result of my communion with God. 

Sometimes I catch a glimpse of other people's prosperity --- and a fiery feeling of unworthiness, i.e. envy, rises up.

I experience envy when I sense that I'm operating at less than my own full capacity. Feelings of envy serve as prompts for self examination. 

I write down my thoughts; thoughts that don't align with my experience or knowledge of God as a good and loving Father are dismissed. I challenge myself to dream, pray, and action plan. And I reduce my social media consumption and challenge myself to look at God with a thankfulness list, a nature walk, or the like. 

My human experience of envy doesn't embarrass me... I know it's a part of the practice of Christianity and my journey towards ultimate communion with Him.