That's Not My Name

(Contains explicit language)

Oath: A solemn promise, often invoking a divine witness, regarding one's future action or behavior

Elise, derived from Elizabeth, means "Oath of God".  Traditionally, when providing testimony, witnesses swear by God that they will tell the truth.  The act of swearing in is an oath. But to be God's oath... does that mean to be God's own swearing in?  I turn to part 2 of the definition, the one given above.  A solemn promise.  I still do not know what that means in terms of me.  Seriously.  I don't.  Am I the manifestation of the act of swearing by God?  Am I a promise... or will his promises to me come forth because he's sworn by his nature?  I do not know.
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I love music.  I know the words to songs that came way before I was conceived.  I know songs with some pretty explicit lyrics.  Friends are always surprised when I can sing Doo Wop and rap hip hop lyrics without missing a beat (pun intended). My parents are music lovers and they passed down that trait to me.  Recently, however, my enjoyment turned to disgust.  I heard some names that did not fit me.  I heard men telling me that I was a bitch and that my job was to lay "it" down and spread "it" open.  And I suddenly understood why parents get so undone over certain songs.  For me, it's not only that the songs spread the wrong message; the songs, and artists, threaten my identity because they are calling me by the wrong name. 


I was rapping along to some song and the word "nigga" slipped out of my month.  And I was grieved.  That name does not describe my people.  It does not describe me.  It saddens me to hear people say that we have taken ownership of a derogatory name.  So, we want to claim trash?  NO!  As a black woman, a princess, a daughter of the Most High, and most certainly a warrior, I reject bitch, nigger, whore, and every other name that contradicts the loving, empowering measures of my identity that the Father has given to me.  

Some days I imagine my run for office and I practice being interviewed by the press on my ideals.  (Don't judge me.)  I practice what I will say when they ask me about my heritage.  Here's what I have come up with - "Yes, I acknowledge my blackness and I am not ashamed.  I remember growing up in Brooklyn and being one of the few non-Carribean, non-Hispanic, Black Americans in the neighborhood and classroom.  My own cultural misunderstandings led me to believe that I did not have a culture to celebrate.  Media told me that all I could own was imprisonment, teenage pregnancy, poverty, violence, drug abuse, absentee parents, Hip Hop, oh and maybe hair.  I now know that I have license to celebrate entrepreneurship, inventions, social cohesion, intellectualism, sportsmanship, artistry, and good old fashion hard work. And while Black Americans bring those things to the table, I know that all of the cultures blended into the fabric of this country bring equally important contributions.  We will all celebrate our culturally-unique and fantastic differences together to make this country strong."

How about that?  By publishing this, I have probably ruined my chances of winning haha.  But if writing what I think means someone's mind has been changed regarding his or her identity then so be it.  
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I couple my cultural identity with my Kingdom identity.  God composed me of both not to hinder but to propel me into radical living for Christ.  My name is Elise and so far here's what I've gotten:  Elise ("Oath of God") - promise by God, bound by his own being/nature/character, to establish and accomplish all (of the abundant life) that He said he would bring forth. 


That's the name I am going to walk out. What does your name mean?