I was talking to an advisor the other day. I was retelling a story and I said, "Yeah, my parents have two daughters!" And she responded, "They have three daughters."
o_O
And my mouth fell wide open. I have two younger sisters. I had forgotten to count myself as a child of my parents. That slip was indeed very telling.
When describing the relationship I have with my sisters I always mention that I am indeed both older sister and second mommy. I took (and still take) my "overseer" responsibilities very seriously when it comes to them. I want to protect them from hurt, harm, and danger. With three girls, I am certain my mother needed the help and did not mind having me step into that role. Unfortunately, in that role, I have (obviously) forgotten that I have access to my mother's protection, guidance, and nurturing too.
It's funny. Most of my closest female friends turn out to be older sisters too. We struggle with that sibling/mother line. And when we don't, we feel like we should be doing more. I recently told a friend that it wasn't her job to call her sister's school to help move along her admission process. We are not mothers yet, but we act like them; and we, like our own mothers, forget to take time to care for ourselves.
But you know what, I have to live my life; and living my life includes resting - not worrying and coordinating, resting.
My sisters are going to be okay. Their total security is not in my hands. Let me say this to myself for emphasis - Elise, you do not control the universe. My sisters will grow up, covered and hidden in the shadow of God's wings. He has a perfect plan for their lives and it is all taken care of. God's got them. He's got me. And He never forgets that we're His daughters. Never.
So, to all my fellow big sisters, stand up... and give it a rest. Hebrews 4:1-13
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